This assignment required us to choose a specific scene from any of the given stories provided which were “The Fall of the House of Usher”, “The Yellow Wallpaper”, “Colloquy”, “The Daemon Lover”, and “A Perfect Day for Bananafish”. Once we chose our story, we were to choose a specific scene from it and write a non-fictional document about ourselves and a related experience, that in some way connects to the scene we chose from the story.

---

Gerardo Rosas Garcia

Professor Nicholas Otte

FIQWS 10108

Personal Narrative (Final)

    In “The Yellow Wallpaper”, Charlotte Perkins focused on what a woman might experience when they are dominated by others and have no other option, but to listen. The narrator, who is a woman, describes her personal experience as she is left in isolation in this “haunted house” (Perkins 647), she initially describes at the beginning. The narrator describes her experiences as she is currently emotionally and mentally unstable. This causes confusion and desperation in the narrator because she is left alone, unnoticed. When wanting to get help, she recalls being “laughed at” (Perkins 647) by her husband, John. Particularly, John is someone who ignores his wife’s current situation and is a reason why the wife ultimately ends in such a self-destructive state. Although the narrator would act strange, everyone surrounding her would ignore her and not pay attention. As the reader, one is able to see the narrator’s state as she describes her emotions and the many things she began to see in her current surroundings.

    Hence, we can see that the husband tends to be very dominant, as he only allows his wife a limited amount of activities. In the text it mentions, “There comes John, and I must put this away, – he hates to have me write here” (Perkins 649). Through this, the reader can see that things done by the narrator are mostly done out of the sight of her husband. Also, we notice how the narrator’s husband, who is a doctor, describes her nervousness as “a slight hysterical tendency” (Perkins 648). Left hopeless, the narrator tries her best to rest as her husband advises to, but such images of “a creeping woman who is trapped” (Perkins 654) makes the narrator feel uneasy. Such an image is something the narrator only sees, but not others in particular.

     Furthermore, there is this mentioning of a baby and the narrator isn’t allowed to take care of it for the most part. Through what the narrator experiences in “The Yellow Wallpaper”, and in medical terms we can connect it to postpartum depression. Such mental related issues are associated with depression right after when women give birth to a new child. In The New York Times article “Postpartum Depression Can Be Dangerous. Here’s How to Recognize It and Seek Treatment”, it talked about how “postpartum is different” since it involves a series of experiences that can affect the wellbeing of a woman (Haelle). Meaning that anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and depression are health risks that can put in danger the life of a child and a mother. The experiences the narrator felt in “The Yellow Wallpaper” is something I can connect to in regards with what I experience with seeing an individual pass through the same things the narrator went through.

    It all starts, with the arrival of my new baby brother and it had been awhile since my mom had kids since at the time, my older sister was 13 and I was 11. I recall being in middle school and it was the start of the school year. Since the day my brother was born, my mom was never left alone and was always looked upon. However, the arrival of the upcoming school year was about to change all of that. My mom was to stay at home, and was to stay alone caring for my brother. The arrival of a new child seemed like something normal in the eyes of those surrounding her, and evidently it was thought that my mom was going to be just fine. However, this wasn’t the case because new things arose in how my mom acted. One day when coming back from school, I remember seeing my mom in tears, shivering and was in such an abnormal state. It was a weird experience for me in particular since it was my first time seeing someone in such condition. That specific moment stood in my head since my mother was someone who never cried and coped with things in a fine manner. Time went by and I noticed that my mom, when with others would hide her emotions and did her best not to alarm others. I really felt strange about myself as I didn’t know if the correct thing was to tell others about it or let my mom deal with the situation, alone.

       As time progressed, I noticed that by the day, my mother’s condition was getting worse, but for what I can recall, no one tried to help her get out of it. This brings back the topic of women being ignored by others when they need help or might be going through some problems. I at the time, didn’t know what my mom was going through and was unaware of the extent of trouble I would lead my mom in. Meaning that by not speaking up, it led to my mom’s condition to worsen. Many people that surrounded my mother left her unnoticed and such weirdness portrayed was considered as “normal” and “part of being a new mom”. Now that time has passed, my mom talks about her experience to my sister and I, on how she felt during such chaotic moments. She goes on telling us that she felt “lost” and “scared”. The New York Times article “Postpartum Depression Can Be Dangerous. Here’s How to Recognize It and Seek Treatment” also stated that “some women don’t want to tell anyone about their symptoms because they feel ashamed or worry” (Haelle). Through this, it highlighted what my mom and other moms may have felt as they suffer through postpartum depression.

   As for my experience, I noticed that many people in particular tend to leave unnoticed the many experiences and things that might be going through a woman’s head. We as individuals tend to ignore the experiences of others in particular and act in ways that might be harmful to those in society. Meaning that our actions have an impact on the way others may deal with their daily lives in such upbringing society. Men tend to have actions of their own and disregard any other personal experiences besides their own. We see in such cases that men tend to laugh, brush away or ignore any given problem, brought upon any type of woman. In “The Yellow Wallpaper”, as I previously mentioned, talked about how John just “laughs” and ignores anything his wife might be telling him. Also, we see how the narrator goes on saying that “You see, he does not believe I’m sick” (Perkins 647). Through this, we can connect that to what I might have believed in regard to the condition of my mother. My mother through her condition would reassure me that she was “fine” and that “I didn’t have to worry about it”. Such reassurance made me think that she was stable and didn’t need to seek treatment.

    This experience in particular, is something that stays into my mind till this day because it faced me into the reality of what it feels like to suffer through a mental disorder. Although, I had never experienced such an experience myself, seeing my mom in such condition allowed for a better understanding of those that might be going through issues dealing with mental disorders. Such experiences connected to those of “The Yellow Wallpaper”, since we can connect it to those of what the narrator may have felt and the actions of those that surrounded her. We noticed how our surroundings can have an impact on the dealing of particular issues. However, such moments in my life, made me see things in a different perspective and allowed for a more visual representation of what goes around the mind of people that might be going through a mental disorder and the ways others tend to perceive it as.

Gerardo Rosas Garcia

Professor Nicholas Otte

FIQWS 10108

Personal Narrative (First Draft)

    My brother had recently been born and school was about to start. I was to begin middle school and that meant my mom was to stay with my baby brother at home, by herself. It was her first child after many years, since at the time my sister was already 13 and I was 11. Having a new baby seemed fined to all of us in my family, and my mom in particular looked like she was enjoying everything as well. However, many of her inside emotions weren’t being shown to anyone who presided next to her and any other outside individual she had contact with. My mom in the eyes of everyone else appeared to be a very strong woman, since she never had any trouble taking care of my sister and I. She appeared to be a very good mother and many other women who had kids trusted her with taking care of their kids as well.

   This wasn’t the case with the arrival of my baby brother as she began acting strange, when school started and was left alone with my baby brother for a portion of the day. On an afternoon, after coming back from school, all I can hear is crying. That crying seemed like someone was being hurt or attacked. I was so scared, so I panicked and didn’t know what else to do. My mom as she saw me coming into her room, was crying and pale at the same time. When I asked her if everything was okay, she reassured me that “everything was fine” and that “it was cold and chilly in the room”. It was such unusual behavior and it was the first time seeing my mom like that. After that scene, I turned over to my brother, who was crying to an extent, all alone in his bed in where I just stood there trying to console and make my brother to stop crying.

Furthermore, time went on and I never told anyone about what I had seen and my mother never mentioned anything to my dad, since my dad had never brought it upon at any point in time. There was nothing being done to help my mother out, although she kept looking worse and worse after each point in time. As time went by, I began to realize that my mom wasn’t stable and that it was time to speak about it to others, that might necessarily know what to do. Evidently, this wasn’t the case as many of my family members ignored her and didn’t compiled to help her. More things appeared to be strange as things began to appear constantly in where my mom used to cry everyday and appeared as she was going insane. I really got frightened that at times I didn’t want to go inside my apartment until my sister arrived home. At one point my sister began to realize as well and told my aunt about it and that is when she decided to act up and allowed her to seek help.

   This particular experience is something I can connect to “The Yellow Wallpaper” and the experiences the narrator felt as she was left alone and unnoticed as she was suffering through something as well. At the beginning of the story we don’t realize much about the condition the narrator is in. As the story progresses we see that she is suffering through something that is causing her to be emotionally and mentally unstable. We notice how the narrator’s husband, John “laughs”(Perkins 647) at her and ignores her wife’s current situation. She is left alone in this “haunted house”(Perkins 647), she initially describes at the beginning of the story. We see that the narrator is unable to cope with what she is suffering through as she begins to get into this stage of insanity. Even though time passed by, she was left untreated and left there in such a house where she was prohibited to do anything or interact with anyone. We notice how, during such moments when she was left alone, no matter what time that was, she appeared to act very strange. She mentions in the story “It is the same woman, I know, for she is always creeping, and most women do not creep by daylight” (Perkins 654). Through this we see how the narrator is already beginning to hallucinate and see things no other person can see but herself. Through this we see how she is beginning to get affected through what she is suffering through.

     In the text it mentioned how there was a baby and that she wasn’t allowed to take care of it for the most part. Through medical terms, we can connect this to Postpartum Depression. It is usually a mental disorder that involves depression right after when a woman delivers a new child. In a way I can connect to what my mother may have felt after having my baby brother. This is something that came into my mind, since my mom at the time used to have occurrences in which she shared similar characteristics as for the narrator of “The Yellow Wallpaper”. Through what I experienced in connection with someone suffering from it, is that many of the signs that a person may portray may get ignored. In such cases, in regards to the experiences I had dealt with my mom, I usually told myself “that she was fine” and “She was ok”. Each moment of time, they’re was this reassurance that nothing was wrong. This ultimately led to my mom’s condition to worsen and led her to seek further help. As when help was given, I noticed that she was able to slowly get better and was able to recover.

    Such experience was like no other, as I was faced into the reality of someone who might be suffering from something wrong from inside. Never in my life time would I have imagined seeing someone that bad and it made me realize the extent that such mental health related issues might lead a person to. In particular “The Yellow Wallpaper” came into mind when talking about such experience. I personally had never passed through such an episode of craziness and insanity, but had seen others pass through it. I used to be that individual who didn’t pay much attention to what was wrong to others and seemingly just cared about myself. However, such pivotal experience allowed me to see towards others and ask whether “they are ok or not?”. If it wasn’t for the help of others, who would have known how far my mom and the way she acted would had led her to. The experience I had was influential and made me understand others that might be suffering through the same problems or other mental disorders that might be affecting them.